how to write a speech for the groom

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How to Write The Perfect Groom’s Speech (With Examples)

Author: Hollie Bond

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How to Write a Grooms Speech

Funny groom's speech ideas, emotional groom's speech ideas, unusual groom's speech ideas, famous groom's speech ideas.

No idea where to start when it comes to making a speech on your big day? We’ve compiled all the best tips and inspiration to help you write and deliver the best groom’s speech ever.

The groom’s speech is always a highlight at a wedding. It’s a chance for guests to hear all the romantic and heartfelt sentiments that you, as a newlywed, will be experiencing.

It’s also a feel-good part of the day where you get to acknowledge all your guests and thank individuals who have helped you bring this special day together. Everyone in the ‘audience’ will be friends and family, so put any public speaking nerves aside, as everyone will be willing you on to do your best and if you stumble over your words or well up when you’re talking about your new wife or husband – well, they’ll just love you even more!

We’ve rounded up 40 of the best groom’s speech ideas, with inspiration for funny, emotional, and unusual speeches, plus examples from famous grooms, to help you write your own Oscar-worthy speech.

What should the groom say in his speech?

Good news! The groom’s speech is one of the easiest speeches to write and deliver as it is essentially just one big thank you.

A groom’s speech should focus on thanking everyone who has helped make the wedding day special including the mother and father of the bride (or equivalent), the guests, his own parents, the best man, the bridesmaids, ushers, and anyone else who has contributed to the wedding.

The other main focus of the groom’s speech is to lavish praise and compliments on his new wife (or groom) and to tell them how happy he is to be married. Finally, the groom should raise a toast to his new wife or husband.

How long should a groom’s speech be?

Any speech at a wedding, including the groom’s speech, should be no longer than ten minutes. When written down this is approximately 1500 words, but make sure to time yourself before the big day in case you’re a particularly slow or fast speaker.

Ten minutes is the ideal length to get across everything you need to say, but not so long that your guests get bored and start to fidget. If you’re not a confident speaker you can always just say a few lines lasting a couple of minutes.

Less is definitely more when it comes to speeches. That said, if it’s too short you could sound flippant! Anywhere between five and ten minutes and you’re in safe territory.

1. Don’t be too formal

Unless you’re known for your love of a bit of pomp and circumstance then you don’t suddenly have to become the master of all things etiquette and stuffy speech-making just because it’s your wedding day. Your guests will want to hear you speak in your usual way, and as long as you cover the expected formalities like thanking everyone for coming, both sets of parents, the bridal party, and anyone who went above and beyond to help you with something like making a cake, then you don’t have to worry about anything else.

2. Focus on the start

If you can get guests smiling from the very beginning of the speech, then both you and your guests will feel relaxed and enjoy the rest of it. Have a think about something humorous that specifically relates to your guests or wedding situation rather than an obvious/ heard-100-times-before gag. Perhaps you’re known for your non-stop chatter, so you could open with “I know you’re all thinking you should take a loo break before I start talking, but I promise I’ll keep this as short (as I can!)…”

3. Don’t forget the main purpose of the speech

A romantic and heartfelt ode to the person you’ve just married should be the main focus of this speech. Try to avoid just saying empty words that anyone could say like “she/he is wonderful, beautiful, kind” etc. Think of specific things that your other half has done that makes you proud/ really love them/ that makes them unique. Anecdotes and stories that highlight a personal trait are the best way to do this.

4. Be romantic, not cheesy

Try not to fall into the trap of sounding like a compilation of all the lines you might find inside a cheesy Valentine’s Day card. Instead of “I’m so lucky to have found you” think about “My parents always told me nothing good would come of always being late, but I’m so glad to say I proved them wrong. I missed my train (as usual) that fateful day and the best thing ever came out of it… you.” Or a simple list of all the things that you particularly love about your partner, from the way they constantly fiddle with their hair to the way they talk to your dog like it’s a human.

5. Don’t give out gifts

This isn’t prize-giving at school and giving out weddinggifts to bridesmaids and ushers etc. will just take up valuable partying time. Give your bridal party their gifts in the morning when you’re all getting ready as it’ll be more personal in private.

6. Think about timing

A speech around the 7 – 10 minutes mark is considered the perfect amount of time for a groom’s speech (written down that’s about 1200 – 1400 words). Any less and you’ll sound a bit flippant. Any more and guests will start getting bored.

7. Don’t go into massive amounts of detail

We all know someone that tells a story as intricate and descriptive as a Tolstoy novel and how we automatically glaze over as soon as they start speaking. Don’t be that person. Your guests don’t want War and Peace – they want a nice easy to listen to a speech that doesn’t mentally challenge them, especially once they’re a few drinks down.

8. Find the perfect quote

If you’re not a wordsmith, let someone else more qualified sum up your feelings for you. There are plenty of amazing quotes from authors and famous orators out there and one or two of them may be exactly what you need to succinctly put all your feelings about the day and your partner into one neat sentence. Just make sure to acknowledge the original author!

9. Give your partner a promise

A lovely way to be funny and also heartfelt at the same time is to make a promise or two to your partner in front of your guests. Don’t just repeat your vows here, promise something that is unique to her/him. Perhaps she’s an avid rock climber and you’re more of a couch potato? Promise you’ll learn to love her crazy hobby. Maybe you’re not exactly Heston Blumenthal in the kitchen? Promise you’ll learn to cook your partner more than beans on burnt toast. Perhaps she/he is the world’s greatest Swiftie. Promise you’ll learn the lyrics to all their favourite Taylor Swift songs… you get the idea.

10. Prepare the delivery

The biggest mistake you can make is to write a great speech on paper and then not read it out loud before the big day. You need to practice talking slowly and confidently and leaving little pauses after funny bits (for any of the slower guests to get it!). Also, some written sentences don’t sound great when spoken, so reading out loud will help you to iron out any clunky syntax. Plus, you’ll want to know the speech almost by heart so that you don’t have your head in a piece of paper reading word-for-word on the day. Eye contact with your guests is one of the most important parts of delivering a successful speech.

You don’t have to be the next Michael McIntyre, but giving your guests a giggle and making them smile is the quickest way to make both them and you feel at ease with the speech.

Don’t fall into the trap of thinking you have to pepper your speech with gags and silly one-liners to make it funny. Instead, just focus on things that are unique to you as a couple or for the audience (perhaps the region you’re from for example) and have a bit of fun at your/ their expense. Be careful not to reference something that only a few members of the audience will understand as that will very quickly alienate your other guests.

Here are ten funny speech ideas to take inspiration from:

Focus on your differences

Comparing your differences can be an easy way to make the guests smile. Are you obsessively tidy and your new partner a bit of a slob perhaps? Can you cook like a pro while they can’t even heat soup without burning the place down? Whatever your differences, exaggerate them and make a joke out of them to get guests giggling.

Tell the crowd something they don’t know

Do you know some funny things about your bride/groom’s past that others in the audience might not? Now’s a good time to reveal that she/he did some hilarious hobbies or geeky things as a child. Perhaps they have a funny secret crush or can do a really odd trick.

Exaggerate your weaknesses

Putting yourself down and acknowledging something everyone knows about you can be a good way to make guests smile. E.g. “Would you believe it? The bride/ groom has finally given up holding out for Ryan Gosling and decided a bald, beer-swilling Insurance Broker from Newcastle is a better option instead.”

Here’s a good example of a funny, self-deprecating groom’s speech:

Make a joke about the wedding itself

“Before I begin, please can we ensure that all the aisles and fire exits are kept clear throughout the reception. There’s a medical team waiting outside the building and I’d like them to have a clear run when my in-laws are presented with the final bill.”

“I’d like to thank Mastercard and Visa, without whom this would never have been possible. My wife and I will be forever in their debt.”

Mother-in-law jokes

These always go down well if you actually get on with her! Reference something unique to your mother in law like her shopping obsession or how long she takes to get ready perhaps. Or keep it classic with: “I’ve been told that this is usually one of the only times in a man’s life when he can be around his wife/husband and mother-in-law and not be interrupted – so hang in there, I’m going to take full advantage.”

“In [in-law’s names], I have found the perfect in-laws. I always cringe when I hear jokes about difficult mothers-in-law because my own experience has been far from that stereotype. [Turn to in-laws and whisper audibly] Did I read that right? Please don’t hurt me…”

Tell a story

If your first date, engagement or the time you asked the in-laws if you could marry their daughter/ son has a funny element to it, go ahead and tell the story. Just remember not to kill the humour with too many details.

Talk about your partner’s quirks

Does your wife/ husband have any weird habits? Divulge a few to the guests but make it romantic by saying how much you love her/him even though they… still get drunk after one glass of wine/ still go to bed with a teddy bear at the age of 33/ always get the words to songs wrong/ always have to be the last person on the dance floor even when the lights come up…

Make the thank yous funny

Instead of a boring list of thank yous, try and inject a bit of fun. For example: “I’d like to thank my mother in law for passing on such wonderful traits to her daughter; her kindness, her humour, though unfortunately, an unwavering support for Arsenal has also slipped down the genetic line.”

Trip the guests up

Everyone expects the first line of the groom’s speech to mention his new wife/ husband. Momentarily confuse them with a sentence like this: “My ex-girlfriend/ boyfriend and I would like to thank you all for coming today” – and then pause while they work it out and laugh.

Use props or videos

If there’s a funny prop or a video that you can show during the speech go for it, plus holding something or giving yourself a break in video form can help stop the nerves.

Leave guests guessing

It’s fine to reference the stag do , but don’t tell a long and boring story about something that happened while you were on it. That’ll only be funny to the stags. It’s best to mention something and leave the end of the story untold as a cliff-hanger so that guests can fill in the blanks with all manner of funny thoughts.

As a groom, you have free reign to get emotional and if you’re not normally an emotional person it will really surprise and delight guests as they will realise just how much the day and marrying your loved one means to you.

You don’t want to get too over the top though and make your guests feel uncomfortable. Keep the really mushy stuff for your bride or groom on your honeymoon and instead focus on the sort of emotional sentiments that will make guests smile.

Here are some ideas for how to make your groom’s speech just the right amount of emotional:

Look guests in the eye

The quickest way to get guests to buy into what you’re saying and to feel the raw emotion of your words is by looking them in the eyes as you deliver each sentence. If you’ve had a difficult time in the run-up to the wedding and are really grateful for the support they’ve all shown, say so while looking sincerely at the guests you really want to show your gratitude to.

Put your heart into the thank yous

If you don’t want to make the thank yous funny or witty, how about making them emotional by not just thanking the person for what they did, but by explaining how much it meant to you.

Mention absent friends

If a member of your family or a friend isn’t at your wedding and is greatly missed then make sure to raise a toast to their memory. You don’t want to be morbid, but a few words about how much the person/ people meant to you both and how much you miss them, followed by inviting all guests to raise a toast to them is a lovely emotional gesture.

Let yourself feel the emotion

If you feel yourself welling up don’t stop the emotion – guests won’t mind if your voice breaks a bit or if you have to take a deep breath. In fact, it just shows how much the words actually mean to you.

Be creative when it comes to describing your partner

If you want to inject emotion into your speech, don’t just say sentences that could describe any bride/ groom. Think specifically about your partner and be poetic when you talk about them and it will be much more sincere than just saying: “My new wide is beautiful” or “My husband is kind”. Here’s a lovely example from a groom’s speech about how to reference your new spouse:

Want to make sure your speech is unforgettable? Make it unusual and unique with some of these stand-out suggestions…

Rap the speech

Got a hidden talent for rapping (or if you don’t it can still be hilarious), then why not attempt to rap the speech instead. You could do part of it normally, before breaking out into a fun rap perhaps.

Sing the speech

Got a good set of pipes on you? How about singing your speech instead? Choose a famous song and then write personalised lyrics to fit. You can make it funny or heartfelt – whatever suits your personality best. Having the words on PowerPoint beside you can help in case some guests miss the words.

Write your speech on blackboards around the room

If the idea of public speaking really is too much for you and threatens to ruin your whole wedding day, why not write it up on blackboards that can be displayed around the venue for guests to read instead. You could even pre-record a video of you reading the speech too. Guests who know and love you will appreciate the effort and know how stressful making a speech in person would be for you.

Speak in a different language

Are you marrying someone who is originally from another country and has another language that you don’t speak? Impress both your new wife or husband and especially their family members who make not speak your language by learning some lines in secret in their language. Starting the speech in English for example before changing seamlessly into French will wow your audience and be very emotional for your new partner.

Get other people to do it for you

Track down important guests who can’t make it to the wedding or some famous people if you can and ask them to say something special that you can record and play as part of the speech.

Borrow the words

If you don’t want to make a traditional groom’s speech, how about performing a poem or reading out the lyrics to a song that means a lot to you as a couple (just don’t make it as awkward as Pam and Mick’s rendition in Gavin & Stacey!)

Write a story

Why not make your groom’s speech sound like the start of a novel or children’s story in a ‘once upon a time’ format, but insert yourself and your new spouse as the main characters. After all, your wedding is part of your love story and you can end your speech with a toast to your happily ever after.

Get your guests involved

Don’t like the idea of all eyes being on you? Surprise your wife/ husband by prepping guests beforehand to each say a sentence. Or you can encourage audience participation by turning your speech into a quiz about you as a couple/ the wedding day.

Perform a musical mash-up

Make it themed.

If your bride or groom has a love for something specific, theme your entire speech around it. Take these maids of honour who did a Disney medley as an example:

Tom Fletcher from band McFly did one of the most famous and unusual groom’s speeches of all time. If you can hold a tune why not replicate his speech with your own song…

Nick Jonas went down the heartfelt route for his groom’s speech at his wedding to Priyanka Chopra in 2018 and nailed the thank you to his new mother in law.

Mark Wright from TOWIE gave way to the tears when talking about new wife Michelle Keegan at their wedding: “Not only are you beautiful, but you are one of the most incredible people I have ever met. You truly are sensational in every single way.” Take inspiration from his touching way to be emotional without making everyone feel awkward.

Not a groom’s speech, but you could definitely steal the idea from the best man speech of Danny McKenzie at footballer Jamie Milligan’s wedding – he pretended he had forgotten the speech and then played a video that “showed” him racing through fields and various places James Bond-style to retrieve it…

Hollie Bond

Hollie is a lifestyle journalist with over ten years’ experience working in the wedding industry as Lifestyle Editor for You & Your Wedding magazine Also a Regional Editor for Muddy Stilettos, Hollie has written for Square Meal magazine, Family History Monthly, BBC History magazine and Homes & Antiques. In her spare time you can find Hollie in a dance studio practising ballet…

Learn more about Hollie Bond

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12 Groom Speech Tips: How to Make a Killer Groom's Speech

Are you nervous about giving your groom's speech? Our experts have 12 top tips to giving the ultimate speech and help calm your nerves

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Have you been worrying about giving your groom’s speech ever since you popped the question? You’re not alone! This is arguably one of the most daunting parts of your entire wedding planning journey.

You’ll need to consider how long your speech should be, your groom speech structure, and who you should be thanking. If you’re following the traditional order of speeches, your speech will come after the father of the bride (or groom) speech , and he could have set the bar pretty high.

But, don’t fret! We spoke to wedding speech writing experts to help calm your nerves. Speechwriter Chris Dance , Adrian Simpson from All Speeches Great and Small and Heidi Ellert-McDermott from Speechy gave their best advice on what it takes to deliver a great groom speech.

Groom's Wedding Speech Tips
Groom Speech Preparation
Who Does the Groom Toast and Thank?
How to Write a Groom's Speech?

What Does the Groom Say in His Speech?

How Long Should the Groom's Speech be?

12 Groom's Wedding Speech Tips

So here are our top tips on giving a wedding speech, but we've also put together a handy video for wedding speech-givers in a hurry! This video explains our best wedding speech tips for grooms, in under a minute.

1. Acknowledge This Special Moment

“A great groom speech should be a really good dollop of entertainment and fun, whilst at the same time acknowledging what a very special moment this is. It’s your chance to stand up and acknowledge the people who have brought you to this point and, of course, to talk about the person you’ve been lucky enough to marry,” explained Adrian.

2. Think Carefully About How to Begin

Heidi advises that the best way to begin your groom speech is “quickly”.

She says: “Grooms often make the mistake of thinking they should sound formal and get overly stressed about following traditional etiquette. The aim is to get people laughing as soon as possible, certainly within the first three lines of your speech as it puts everyone listening at ease.”

As well as keeping it light and funny, Adrian points out that it’s important to address your partner's father and thank him for his speech: “Make it a warm and inclusive introduction, however, don’t be tempted to detail his financial contribution. A reference to his generosity should be sincere but very general.”

3. Know Your Audience

Knowing your audience applies to all speech writing and Chris emphasises this by explaining that you should: "Keep in mind who you're talking to and make the speech accessible to everyone in the room. Don't use in-jokes that only you and your workmates will get, don't risk anything offensive or controversial, and steer clear of politics."

4. Add in a Few (Appropriate) Jokes

“There’s a lot of emotion on the big day and making people laugh with some wedding jokes or amusing stories is the best way to balance that out,” explains Adrian.

Keep your stories short, funny, and appropriate! You don’t want to be embarrassing your new wife or husband on your first day as a married couple.

“Are you already concerned that your bride’s ‘pinot posse’ have started chatting up the bar staff? Or are you finding it hard to recognise your middle-aged cycling buddies in clothes that they usually wouldn’t be seen dead in? Make your humour personal and seemingly spontaneous – your guests will really appreciate it,” adds Heidi.

Adrian advises grooms to steer away from a speech that’s more of a ‘dry procession of thanks’ as you’ll struggle to keep your guests’ attention – so even if you’re not a naturally charismatic person, make sure your personality shines through above the mere thank-yous.

Take a look at these groom speech jokes for inspiration!

5. Remember to Thank Everyone

Traditionally, the groom will need to thank the following:

Everyone for coming
His parents
His partner’s parents
His best man and ushers (if there are any)
The maid of honour and bridesmaids (if there are any)

Heidi advises that although there are probably plenty of other people who you would love to thank for their contributions and help towards your special day, try to avoid thanking half of the guest list.

A simple way to thank everyone would be to say:

"This is the best day of my life and it's because of all of you, and especially you (referring to your partner). I cannot thank you all enough for being here."

When it comes to thanking parents, there’s one thing Adrian warns grooms to be careful of. “Don’t fall into the trap of waxing lyrical about your new parents-in-law for several paragraphs, dismissing your own parents in a sentence. They should both be given equal measure.”

An example to combine them both would be to say:

"Thank you for my parents for bring me up to be the person I am today and thank you to my in-laws for welcoming me into your family."

6. Focus on Your New Partner

Heidi suggests that your new partner should be the main focus of your speech. She says, “This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to drop a public love-bomb on your partner and considering they’ve just agreed to tolerate all of your habits and box sets for the rest of their life, it’s the least you can do!

“Remember, every groom thinks his partner is gorgeous, kind and generally amazing so avoid cliché terms and words and concentrate on what makes them unique. Nailing their individual and quirky characteristics shows that you really get your new husband or wife and your friends and family will love you for that.”

Chris recommends that you do this by giving examples: "Don't just say that your partner is kind and thoughtful; illustrate it with the story about the time that they dressed up as Boba Fett and threw you a surprise Star Wars party, or about how they still hold your hand at the dentists because you hate the sound of the drill."

7. Forget Giving Out Gifts

Heidi advises that if you’re planning on giving thank you gifts to bridesmaids , parents or anyone else, either do it earlier on in the day or announce that you’ll be personally thanking them later as to not disrupt the speech.

She says: “Gift-giving is basically an excuse for guests to start checking their WhatsApp!”

8. Don't Be Too Ambitious

The time you take to the mic to make your groom's speech will no doubt be a big moment, but Chris shares that it is important to be realistic about what your comfort zone is and stay in it.

"It's a speech to your friends, not an audition for Britain's Got Talent. If you're terrified of public speaking, keep it simple. Don't give yourself unnecessary stress by filling your speech with tongue-twisters or trying to be Billy Connolly."

9. Think Carefully About the Structure

Adrian says, “There are lots of people to talk about and you should deal with them one at a time and avoid repetition.

“Resist the urge to launch straight into how amazing your new partner looks and then pepper the speech with references to them. They are the star of the show so save the latter half of the speech to be dedicated to them and what they mean to you.”

10. Eight Minutes is the Perfect Length of Time

Adrian says that the length of a groom’s speech can really make or break it: “Too short and people are going to be wondering why you bothered. Too long and nobody will be listening. Keep it to a ‘stand up-sit down’ time of 10 minutes – that’s a talking time of around eight minutes and the rest will be made up from laughter, applause and heckles.”

Heidi also stressed the importance of not boring people with a lengthy speech, but also not coming across like you’re enjoying the attention a little too much.

11. Avoid Too Much Detail

Adrian explained that it’s too much detail that really slows a speech down: “A great speech demands the very least from the guests in order for them to enjoy it, so now is not the time to recount exactly how you know each of the ushers individually. A good guide is to aim for a total of 1,350 words – if you’re edging well over that, then it’s time to strip out some of the content.”

12. Think About Your Ending

According to Adrian: “Tradition says that you should end on a toast to the bridesmaids and a little aside to the best man. I’ve never found this works – in my opinion, the focus of the speech should be exclusively on your partner, that’s why I suggest toasting to the bridesmaids earlier in the speech and making the final words all about your partner.

“You should have talked about the best man earlier in the speech but there’s no harm in having a quick one-liner referencing him at the end but make sure it’s after the final toast.”

Groom Speech Preparation To Calm Your Nerves

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Heidi has a lot of advice when it comes to calming nerves around your wedding speech, starting with just how important the planning and preparation is.

“The key to being confident on the day is writing a wedding speech that’s so good you can’t wait to deliver it. If you know you’re going to make your friends laugh, your mum cry and your bride/groom love you even more then you’ll ooze confidence whilst delivering your speech.”

1. Film Yourself – Use your phone to film yourself practising your speech. Watch it back and channel your inner Simon Cowell – work out how your delivery could be improved and what you would change.

2. Dutch Courage Isn’t Always the Answer – Although lots of grooms swear by a bit of Dutch courage, this is based on wishful thinking rather than solid science!

3. Smile and Breathe – It may sound obvious but taking a deep breath is surprisingly effective at reducing those stress nerves and smiling is scientifically proven to be infectious, making them a fool-proof combination.

Does the Groom Give a Speech?

Traditionally, the groom will give a speech at the wedding reception, following the ceremony. You can do whatever works for you, but the traditional order for speeches is for the father of the bride to speak, then the groom, best man and any other toasts.

How to Write a Groom's Speech

If you are writing your groom's speech yourself the key points to remember are to compliment your new spouse and thank any key guests. Any other additions are nice extras!

Writing not your strength? Hiring a professional speechwriter is a brilliant option. "It’s not cheating - if it is then so is ordering a wedding cake when you’ve got perfectly good eggs and flour at home," shares Chris.

"Speech writing is a specialist skill: giving the task to someone who can mould your words and articulate your thoughts is as valid a use of your budget as any other wedding service you’re paying for – arguably more valid, given that it’s probably the bit of the day you’re most worried about."

"The groom should focus on thankyous," explains Chris. "He should thank everyone for coming to the wedding - especially Jim and Tania who’ve kayaked all the way from Gdansk; anyone who contributed to it significantly, his partner’s parents for spawning such a catch; his own parents for loving and/or tolerating him.

"When he’s done that he can get on with lavishing praise on the person he’s married and saying how deliriously happy he is. That’s what the guests really want to hear from him, so he needs to do that bit well and sincerely."

How Long Should a Groom's Speech be?

Ideally, you want your groom's speech to be no more than ten minutes. Make sure to rehearse it a few times before the big day and time yourself - you don't want your guests to start getting bored!

"Just remember, if there are two or three other speakers then you’re asking your guests to sit still and listen patiently for half an hour, which is a long time when you’re stuffed full of wine, sea bass and tiramisu and you want to stretch your legs.

"However long your speech lasts (I find seven to ten minutes is usually enough), try to keep it punchy, lively and relevant: there is such a thing as a five minute speech that’s so dull it feels like a lifetime, yet fifteen minutes can race by if your speech is bright, engaging and funny," says Chris.

Still feeling nervous? Fear not – here’s our guide on how to deliver an amazing wedding speech !